Dear Rowley,
A disturbing phenomenon has emerged in the news this week. A group of very sick puppies nationwide have taken to dressing-up in scary clown costumes and frightening people after dark. As someone who finds clowns sinister at the best of times, I find this latest YouTube wheeze terrifying. I vote that we bring back the stocks and pelt these ghastly men – and it is invariably men – with dung until they are black and blue.
It has long been a mystery to me why Britain has followed the USA yet again and embraced Halloween as a national holiday. It is fun for the odd drag queen to dress-up as Michelle Visage for the night or for ‘straight’ lads to put on a frock and bubble perm blonde wig but is it good for the mental health of the nation to endorse the wearing of Scream masks or allow fantasists to dress-up as Freddy Kruger?
It bothers me that just as online porn has desensitised generations to sex so too have violent computer games inured the young to causing physical harm. In my youth, violent, murderous crime was a once-a-year horror that shocked the nation. Now it appears that murder is a weekly occurrence in modern Britain and the perpetrators don’t appear to show any remorse at all. We do live in troubled times.
In other news, a code red at Bloomsbury Towers the other day when various nearest and dearest reported that my emails were bouncing back. With further investigation, I discovered I had every email I had sent backed-up to 2010. Deleting them was like watching one’s life flash before you. It was heartening to see that the lion’s share of people I was emailing are still great friends both professionally and personally. But there are a good few who were lost in the action over the past six years.
Time travelling through my emails reminded me of that brilliant Sondheim lyric from Into the Woods: ‘Sometimes people leave you halfway through the woods. Others may deceive you, you decide who’s good’. As anyone living with manic depression knows, you do lose people as a result of some crisis or other. Some lost friendships leave a gaping hole in your life until you find new friends to fill the void.
I suppose the most frustrating aspect of losing friends is the thought that it could have been avoided. Then again it is a comfort to know that it is isn’t always your fault. I’m a great one for apologies even if the other person should be on their knees begging. But once an apology is rejected, there’s no going back. I much prefer a dignified silent rather than maintaining a polite friendship where once there had been genuine warmth and intimacy.
But on to the burning issues of the day. Isn’t Strictly Come Dancing becoming as controversial as the punch-up between Hilary Clinton and Donald Trump over the pond? Two coloured contestants are voted out in the first two rounds then That Nice Will Young backs out of the competition. I don’t happen to think Strictly or the British public is racist; not when Louis Smith, Alesha Dixon and Mark Ramprakash are all past winners.
That said, Tomeka was robbed last week. That broad shouldn’t have been anywhere near the dance-off and the judges – with the exception of Darcey – should hang their heads in shame to have endorsed the public vote. The blonde lady who was also in the bottom two had far too much help from the costume department. Her Moulin Rouge costume with the pink ostrich feather bustle gave her hip action that was sadly lacking in the booty beneath.
I have often wondered whether costume, hair and make-up behind the scenes on Strictly help to steer the public vote. Poor Judge Rinder looked like he should have been doing community service dressed as he was like Fred Flintstone for Movie Week. The poor chap was put in a dodgy black wig and a dress. I ask you!
If Ed Balls had been given the Fred Flintstone drag and Judge Rinder the Jim Carey in The Mask Zoot Suit, the results would have been very different. I wasn’t much taken with the harem pants that Will Young was forced to wear either … a very good reason for ‘That Nice Will Young’ (TM) to bow out of the competition as he did the other day.
Of course people will wonder why That Nice Will Young decided to walk. I don’t think Len reading him the riot act was fair and I simply don’t buy the ‘personal issues’ reason because if it was a family crisis you’d tell it like it is and suck-up the public sympathy. I personally think Will is far too class an act for Strictly and his dignity would not suffer harem pants and a baggy top.
Speaking of Mr Trump, I do wish he wouldn’t keep dancing. His policies alone are abhorrent so it does seem to add insult to injury that he had to be caught talking about grabbing pussy to be deemed unacceptable as President of the United States of America.
I thought American needed a woman as President the last time around so don’t have an issue with Hilary Clinton other than she continues the trend for hereditary presidents. The Bush family and the Clintons have had the presidency sewn-up and I would not write-off Michelle Obama standing four years’ hence. I bet if Oprah, RuPaul or Barbra Streisand stood for president they would romp it.