Hello Gorgeous! August 2011.
Dear Rowley, Deal or No Deal. It’s not a game show: it’s a cult. I tell you, the Scientologists could learn a trick or two about brainwashing. I am now hardwired to climb the stairs in Bloomsbury...
View ArticleKeep Calm & Carry On. September 2011.
Dear Rowley, So Germany’s voted to bail out the Euro Zone one more time. William Hague is quite right. The Euro is like being trapped inside a burning building with no exits: perhaps an unfortunate...
View ArticleFisticuffs. August 2012.
Dear Rowley, Missed writing to you my dear but life in London has been awfully frantico of late. Now I promise you this is the last letter where I’ll mention the M word: no, not Madonna, migraines. My...
View ArticleSad To Be All Alone In The World. September 2012.
Dear Rowley, A tableau vivant of the modern global economy if ever there was one at HSBC Premier Holborn branch this afternoon. I am without funds until multiple payday on the 1st of October from...
View ArticleHollywood Costume. October 2012.
Dear Rowley, Hollywood Costume at the V&A deserves another letter. I was fascinated by the hour and a half spent with the curator Deborah Landis at the private view of the exhibition. As you know,...
View ArticleBurlington Arcade Bazaar. November 2012.
Dear Rowley, Don’t you sometimes get the feeling that it’s all too much? You’re trying your best to stay on the good foot and yet some mischievous sprite keeps on strewing your path with banana skins....
View ArticleExhibitionism. November 2012.
Dear Rowley, I’m with Bonnie Tyler. We’re all holding out for a hero and popular culture simply isn’t coming up with the goods. My heart sank when ITV advertised a new fly-on-the-wall doc Cheryl:...
View ArticleThe Oscars. February 2013.
Dear Rowley, The red carpet arrivals at the Oscars always bring out the Madame Defarge in fashion critics. All the trolls come out of their caves to mock, knock and hurl derision in a colloquial,...
View ArticleFar Pavilions. October 2014.
Dear Rowley, Brighton Royal Pavilion has to be the singular most peculiar residence ever commissioned by an English prince. The Nash exterior is an Indian palace decorated with domes, minarets and...
View ArticleDuty Call. May 2015.
Dear Rowley, Weren’t you shocked to hear that FIFA is run by porcine, money grubbing lardy cake males with greasy palms and laxer morals than a dope peddler haunting the backstreets of Tangier? No, me...
View ArticleShe’s Back. September 2015.
Dear Rowley, Weren’t you dreading the first footage to emerge on YouTube of Madonna’s first dates on the Rebel Heart tour in Montreal? I’m a fan of the album but, on the strength of she at the Brit...
View ArticleDiva Fever. October 2015.
Dear Rowley, A number of years ago, a writer called Suzy Boyt published a memoir called My Judy Garland Life. She and I were working for Weekend FT then: she as a columnist and I as a fashion...
View ArticleTiara-Bum-Di-Hey. October 2015.
Dear Rowley, La Farmer and I feel vindicated in our ongoing commitment to boozy London lunches. Yesterday saw us at the divine Arbutus on Frith Street in Soho in the company of Aspasia ‘Love Gold’...
View ArticleRussian Roulette. January 2015.
Dear Rowley, I do love Jewish humour, don’t you? Barbra Streisand told one of my favourite gags at her comeback concert in the 1990s. It concerns a woman who goes to the butcher’s shop to buy a...
View ArticleSad Sad Tears of a Clown. March 2016.
Dear Rowley, Didn’t your mouth just hit the pavement when you saw the YouTube footage of Madonna’s one night and one night only Tears of a Clown show? OMFG darling! Performed in Melbourne in front of a...
View ArticleFunny Girl. April 2016.
Dear Rowley, They’re going to start calling me the Jonah of the West End. I book Sunset Boulevard on the first night of the run that Glenn Close is indisposed. We get tickets for Funny Girl at the...
View ArticleOn A Clear Day. July 2016.
Dear Rowley, Baz Luhrmann’s Moulin Rouge would certainly be one of my Desert Island Movies. It irritated purists with its use of in-jokes and pastiche but quite frankly fuck ‘em. What’s not to like...
View ArticleKeep Dancing? October 2016.
Dear Rowley, A disturbing phenomenon has emerged in the news this week. A group of very sick puppies nationwide have taken to dressing-up in scary clown costumes and frightening people after dark. As...
View ArticlePostcards from the Edge. December 2016.
Dear Rowley, I do believe that symmetry in time is never purely coincidental. A day after her daughter died, Hollywood musical royalty Debbie Reynolds has also passed away saying she wanted to be with...
View ArticleLady Sings The Blues. August 2017.
Dear Rowley, To the Wyndhams Theatre for Audra McDonald’s performance in Lady Day at Emerson’s Bar & Grill. For anyone who knows Broadway, Audra’s voice is one of those once in a generation lyric...
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